Sunday, October 19, 2008

40 Days to 40

Yep, that's right. 40 days from today, I'll be 40! 40...YEARS...OLD. I've heard myself say (without flinching) things like "I'll be 40 this year" or "This fall I'll turn 40". In fact, I like seeing people's reactions to the news...most of the time they're quite surprised. Maybe they thought I was much older! LOL!

But suddenly it feels...weird. That's the only word I can use to describe it right now. All this time I've laughed about it, pretended to dread it, etc. But today, it just feels weird.

For many, growing older, "ahem", hitting milestone birthdays, is cause for reflection. I'm no different. A good friend woke up the morning of his 40th birthday and suddenly felt overwhelmed with regret and disappointment. His life wasn't at all what he'd imagined it would be at 40. I really don't want that to happen to me. By the way, he didn't stay there long, because he began taking action and making changes.

So, I'm issuing myself a challenge. Being one of those very busy, no-time-to-slow-down kind of people, I don't make time for myself. Whether it's soaking in the tub, reading a book, going for a walk, or feeding my spirit, I usually put it off. Just too many other pressing needs. I neglect reflection, solitude, and creativity. So, my self-challenge 40 things about ME. That doesn't mean 40 straight days of blogging. It really means whatever I want it to mean. The last thing I need or want is the pressure of having requirements & restrictions on this thing. It's supposed to be fun, creative, silly, serious, authentic...ME.

It may seem a bit narcissistic, arrogant, self-centered, prideful...but really, it's just theraputic. I NEED to do this. (I hope this doesn't sound like a put-myself-first, Oprah-kinda-thing! I don't even watch that show!) It will be more like a journal. Some topics include:
  • Things I Love
  • Things I Dream About
  • Hopes for my Kids
  • Regrets
  • Loved about Childhood
  • I've Never...
  • Struggles
  • Bad Habits
  • Embarrassing Moments
  • What Makes Me Feel Old
  • What Gives Me Purpose
  • What Encourages Me
  • What Irritates Me

You get the picture. It's something a stranger can read and feel like they've gotten to know me. Something my boys can read someday and know me a bit more. But it's certainly not a eulogy!

Anyway, it should be fun. Feel free to comment. Agree. Disagree. Tell how you've dealt with that very thing. But please, PLEASE don't think I'm doing this so everyone can tell me how much they love me. That's not what this is about. I know I'm loved.

I just hope this isn't the only post in this series. That would be so very typical of me!

And, by the way, special thanks to Kacole for the cute logo!

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