Thursday, June 22, 2006

Cleanup on Aisle 7

I don't usually grocery shop with my kids. Living in a small town affords me the luxury of running to the store when hubby is home for lunch. In fact, the other day I left the kids with their daddy, washed the car, grocery shopped, and was back home in 30 minutes!

Today was errand day. It required grocery shopping with the boys first. Now, our little store has one door in and one door out. Everyone who works there knows me and my little one. I normally let him loose as long as he stays fairly close by. Besides, the shopping cart is so small, there isn't much room for him and the food! The first stop is produce where little one starts grabbing tomatoes in each hand. "Oh, no, honey. Put the tomatoes back. Yes, they are red. Now put them back." This is all said in my sweet voice - it's early. Besides, my 2 year old knows the color red - he's brilliant! Next he grabs a cucumber and holds it up beside his head and says, "Hello!" like he's answering the phone. Oh, he's so cute and funny! By aisle 7 (out of 12) it wasn't cute or funny anymore - I didn't care how brilliant he was! After telling him 27 times not to touch everything in the store, he pulls off a jar of Vlasic dill pickles onto the floor. Crash, broken glass, pickle juice, vinegar smell. My sweet voice was gone! Mary Poppins had been replaced by Viola Swamp! I grabbed him and threw him in the cart. I looked at big brother whose eyes were like saucers and knew that he was the one who had learned the lesson! Of course the mother in me couldn't pass up the chance to say "See what happens when you touch things"!! Poor thing, he wasn't even the guilty one!

After dropping groceries off at home, we drove 40 minutes to Wal-Mart. Not a SuperCenter, just a regular old Wal-Mart. Once again, I let little brother try out his wings by not strapping him in the cart. We started off in the garden center where he and brother had a great time. They "rode" the lawn mowers and tried out every piece of lawn and patio furniture. Little brother only pulled the heads off of a few dozen flowers. He also had a short meltdown as we stepped back into the store because big brother beat him to the door.

In the pharmacy he touched every box of character bandages. He screamed when I took away the $40 ear thermometer he had grabbed off the hook. He "helped" me choose new candles for our house. He found a display of letters one can use for wall decoration. He had to touch each one and sing through the alphabet song while I stood there tapping my foot. He eventually became so wild I had to do the unthinkable. I spanked him in the housewares aisle after he intentionally knocked off a glass olive oil decanter. I thought it was going to be the pickles all over again. As soon as I spanked him I realized what I had done! I have always made fun of people who spank their kids at major discount department stores. Now I was one of them. For a brief moment I was sure I would end up on TV - hidden camera footage showing me beating my child in public. Luckily, no one was around. There's not much of a chance anyone in Stamford, TX cares if I spank my kids.

Well, by spanking him and strapping him into the cart seat, I broke his spirit! Dejected, he just reached out his little hand as we squeezed through the clearance in the boys section, saying "touch, touch". He just had to have his hands on everything! By the time I was ready to check out, he was sucking his thumb with his head on my chest while I maneuvered through the store.

We still hadn't had lunch!

I'm exhausted just recapping it.

12 comments:

Oberon said...

......gotta love those kids.....sometimes a spanking gets their attention.....sounds like you've got your hands full.

Heth said...

I feel your pain.....

Bttrfly1976 said...

I most evidently see my lack of patience any time I take children into a store. I totally relate.

SuperMom said...

Gee, do you think he's a tactile learner?

I had to laugh. Been there. Done that.

I can just see him now, whimpering, "touch, touch". Priceless!!

icjesusnu said...

I think I recognize and resemble those remarks...precious

joyfuljourney said...

Supermom - As I was writing my post I was thinking "this sounds like a SuperMom adventure!"

icjesusnu - no way! Another local blogger! When are you gonna blog? Between phone calls? I love you and WELCOME!

heartsjoy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
heartsjoy said...

LOL!! Sorry to be laughing at your frustration but this was so funny. Hubby and I both got a kick out of it. I guess it makes it extra funny because we can all relate to humiliating times with our kiddos. I think it is part of the plan to keep us humble! :O) It definitely works! L Glad you survived and got to go home.
p.s. I was the deleted comment...messed up and couldn't correct. oops

Trainham Ice said...

those boys need a whippin'
hahaha...Kent

LiteratureLover said...

You poor thing. We've all been there before!

Michelle- This One's For The Girls said...

Well, I never! Ha.

"I'm exhausted just recapping it."

I'm exhausted just reading it and remembering oh so many frustrating times of my own. One day we'll look back and miss these years. :)

Paulette said...

Hello, came by to read your blog. I enjoyed it. Thanks for your honesty. Being a parent is hard work, especially in the grocery stores.
Be Blessed