Random Thoughts

1. Cancer. It's an ugly word. I hate the sound of it. No one should have to hear the doctor say that word. There is a woman in my church - 39 years old - who just found out she has Hodgkins Lymphoma. She is at MD Anderson right now being tested and evaluated. Today they tested her bone marrow - which is extremely painful. When she gets home this weekend, she will have to wait another week to find out what stage it's in and what her course of treatment will be. How do you keep your sanity during that wait? How do you keep your children from being terrified when you are absolutely terrified down to your very core? How do you tell your parents that you have cancer? How do you concentrate on anything except the evil, horrible stuff growing inside you? What an invasion.
2. My sister (27) had a procedure done last week to remove some pre-cancerous cells. She's too young to hear the doctor say "pre-cancerous". Everyone is confident she will be just fine. The only concern is her ability to have a baby - or carry one to full-term. I've always told her that she is the only one I would consider being a surrogate for. She reminded her hilarious, insane husband of my willingness to carry their baby and he said, "I'm NOT sleeping with your sister!" What an idiot! :-)
3. My friends who are missionaries in Prague adopted a baby last year. 2 weeks after the adoption, she found out she is pregnant. She's having TWINS! This time last year they had no kids and next month they will have 3 in diapers! I got to talk to her today and it was so good to hear her voice. I've only lived in this remote small town for 6 months and I miss my girlfriends. Isn't it great that no matter how much time goes by between visits - you just pick back up where you left off?
4. Vacation Bible School is next week. I'm the director. I might go insane before it starts Monday morning! So many details! Even though it can be stressful, VBS is such a blessing. This year's mission project is called "Blanket the World with Jesus' Love". We're sending fleece blanket to children in poor, mountainous regions. Our church is very excited about it.
5. Oh, I went to the doctor last week for some routine bloodwork. This was my first time to see the doctor here since we moved, so he was asking me lots of family history, etc. He is my age and very funny. Everyone in town calls him by his first name. I like him a lot. Well, I did, until he told me to get a mammogram! He asked if I would rather go to Abilene or Wichita Falls? I said "NEITHER". I had no intention of getting one of those until I'm 40. I'm only 37 now! I thought I had a couple of years to psych myself up for that! Less than 2 years ago I was nursing a BABY! Mammogram was not on my radar screen. Aaaaahh!!
6. Tonight is the last night my baby sleeps in his crib! We bought the boys bunk beds and they were delivered today. I asked hubby not to start assembling tonight because baby needs to sleep in the crib one more time! Like baby cares! He's always excited to sleep elsewhere. It's this mommy who isn't ready to take down the crib. Not only do I like the confinement it provides, but this is my last baby. That crib will go to my sister's house soon. Besides, no one with a baby still in the crib should have to get a MAMMOGRAM! Right?

Must go to bed now.

Blogging Addiction

When I first began blogging last month, I spent a lot of time reading the blogs of my buddy heartsjoy and her sis literaturelover and all their buddies. Reading supermom makes my day! Don't you wish you could express yourself the way she does? I don't even know her first name, but I think it would be a blast to spend the day with her! Reading what my buddies were blogging didn't leave me much time for blogging on my own site.

Lately I've begun blog hopping. This is addictive! It started with this one's for the girls and then rocks in my dryer. Then another and another and another! Eventually I have no idea where I am and how I got there! And it's fascinating!! In my mind there is the perfect mom, wife, friend, daughter, etc. I know she doesn't really exist in person, but she does exist in blogworld. I find bits of her on one blog and then a bit on another! Combined, we make the perfect woman! I am gleaning so much from all of you out there and it is a blessing!

I try to surround myself with smart, funny, articulate people. Those are the people I like to be around. Blogging has allowed me to do that anytime I want. But I'm not blogging much on my own site! Throughout the day thoughts occur to me that I could blog, but when I sit down at the computer, all I want to do is read about everyone else!

I need help! I need to get a life!

Summer is Almost Here

Only one more week until school is out! My son loves school - who doesn't love Kindergarten? He is like me and thrives around others and prefers the classroom to one on one. Although it will be a transition for all of us, I look forward to the relaxation summer can bring. No more getting his clothes ready the night before, checking the backpack, getting out the door at a certain time. There will still be structure in our house, just no set schedule!

More than anything, I look forward to having my son back! Everyday when I drop him off at school I pray for his protection - physical, mental, emotion, spiritual! There are days he comes home from school and I wonder what he's heard and experienced. He has learned many things this year I wasn't ready for - like names for parts of his body - words we don't use in our house! So, when I say I want my son back, it's not just because I miss him. It's because I want control back. For someone who always thought she would homeschool, this year has had it's challenges. I still believe it is God's desire for him to be in public school during this season of our lives, but I look forward our being the major influence of his life.

We will do some homeschooling of our own this summer. Besides working on the basics like shoe-tying and telling time, we will be reading a lot and working on Scripture memory and character development. I plan to use Focus on Your Child's Character Crew. We'll do one each week.

So, all you homeschooling moms - what are your summer plans? Will you continue or take a break? My sis-in-law goes all year and it works well for them. I really enjoy reading about your homeschooling adventures, plans, struggles, successes! Whether or not I ever get to do it, the subject will always fascinate me! I have such respect for you! And supermom, I know you don't churn your own butter, but my good friend in Iowa has her own goat that they milk! They are a terrific family! But there is no typical homeschooling family!

What are some of the challenges you face as a homeschooler? Do you find yourself asking why you are doing this? Should they be in school somewhere else? I know homeschool parents tend to go through this each year. As a public school mom I am going through some of the same dilemmas. I guess each year we will ask ourselves the same questions - do we continue with public school and is this still God's plan?

Captivating and Radiant

Captivating, by Stasi and John Eldridge, is on my bookshelf just waiting to be read. I keep putting it off for some reason. Busy with other studies and books I'm trying to finish. Captivating is not a word I would use to describe myself, in fact, I don't know if I understand what it really means to be captivating. I guess I would if I read the book!

A month or so ago, my husband told me that Relevant Magazine (one of his favorites) is now publishing a magazine for women-it's called Radiant. I was excited about this and checked out the website. I read through everything and decided to subscribe. Then I read a little blurb at the end of the website. It informed me that Radiant is written for women in their 20's and early 30's! OUCH! What a slap in the face. I suddenly felt old and unimportant! Am I not the right age to be radiant? Relevant? There was no anger on my part, just surprise. This is the first publication I've run across that interests me that is actually geared toward younger women. At what point am I no longer a younger woman? It never occurred to me that Hubby was reading a magazine written for men 10 years younger! He loves it! He doesn't let his age matter - why should I? I subscribed to the magazine.

Now, I will begin reading my book and I look forward to my first issue of my new magazine! I will read them both from cover to cover. My age doesn't define me! So what if I'm 37 and I'm no longer the focus of advertising and publications!

Signed,

Captivating and Radiant!

I Survived

Hubby came home and I am no longer a single mom. Things went fine - no problems at all. But, I sure wouldn't want it to be a permanent situation. Hubby walked in just as Baby Brother was heading to his nap. He was so surprised and thrilled to see "Dad". (He skipped saying "Daddy", thanks to Big Brother. )

A few days ago I held a 2 week old baby. He was squeaky and sweet! Don't you love how they draw their legs in when you hold them on your chest? Anyway, this baby belongs to Heather from Point of Grace. Her parents are members of our church and she is spending some time here recuperating and resting. Her hubby is prepping for comps and needed some quiet time. Anyway, I have grown quite close to Heather's mom, but this is Heather's first trip here since we moved here a few months ago. As I was getting ready to go over there to visit, I found myself fussing about my hair, clothes, etc. Come on, this girl glams up all the time, so there is that part of me that is nervous about how I look. I didn't expect her to look like she does on the album covers, but you know what I mean.

I got there and she looked just like the rest of us 2 weeks after having a baby! No makeup, her other 2 kids were still in jammies, etc. I was so relieved! Isn't it great when you discover that "famous" people are also real people? I knew she would be real, because her mom is one of the most authentic, wonderful women I've ever met. Our visit was great and I really enjoyed loving on her new precious baby. They are a sweet family.

Speaking of family, I should probably go feed mine!